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by **admin_pornrev** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 1:22 pm

Actually some sick jokes and some condom jokes, plus more, ok. (Ed)

Bob calls in to his job: "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work".

The boss says: "You know Bob, I really need you today. Whenever I feel sick I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That always makes me feel better, and I can get back to work. You should try that".

Two hours later Bob calls: "Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be back at work again very soon. By the way, you have nice house".

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An army Major visits 3 sick soldiers.

He approaches the 1st private and asks - "What's your problem, Soldier"? "Chronic syphilis, Sir"! "What treatment are you getting"? "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir"! "What's your ambition"? "To get back to the front lines, Sir"! "Good man"! says the Major.

He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier"? "Chronic piles, Sir"! "What treatment are you getting"? "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir"! "What's your ambition"? "To get back to the front lines, Sir"! "Good man"! says the Major.

He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier"? "Chronic gum disease, Sir"! "What treatment are you getting"? "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir"! "What's your ambition"? "To get to the front of the line and get the wire brush before the other two - Sir"!

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Call me Bubba

A man boarded an aeroplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realised she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation"? She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomania Convention in Chicago".

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention"? "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality".

"Really, " he said, "what myths are those"?

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent.

We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck". Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry", she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name".

"Tonto", the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba..

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A father and his son go into the grocery store and they walk passed the condom aisle.

The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.

The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night".

The son then asks his father, "Well what's the 6 pack for"?

The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.

Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're married...

You have one for January, one for February, one for March...

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Safe sex condom slogans:

Cover your stump before you hump.

Don't be silly, protect your Willie.

Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.

Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.

If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it!

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